“This brain inside our heads is a 2 million-year-old brain. . . . It’s ancient, old survival software that is running you a good deal of time. Whenever you’re suffering, that survival software is there. The reason you’re suffering is you’re focused on yourself. People tell me, ‘I’m not suffering that way. I’m worrying about my kids. My kids are not what they need to be.’
No, the reason [these people are] upset is they feel they failed their kids. It’s still about them. . . .
Suffering comes from three thought patterns: loss, less, never.”
“It turns out that when I graduated from high school, I had already used up 93% of my in-person parent time. I’m now enjoying the last 5% of that time. We’re in the tail end.” Might be time for you (and me) to rethink our personal priorities.
“Slow down. I think a lot of the mistakes of my youth were mistakes of ambition, not mistakes of sloth. So just slowing down, whether that’s meditating, whether that’s taking time for yourself away from screens, whether that’s really focusing in on who you’re talking to or who you’re with.”
Tools of Titan
A belief is a story in your head, a cause-and-effect chain, like a recipe or rule for action. The basic recipe looks like this: If you have a need, then look for a belief that provides a rule for action to get the result that you want. Many beliefs take the form of “If x, then y; if you're hungry, then eat.
The basic way that we learn how to be effective in life is called a learning loop: a continuous feedback cycle of needs, thinking, and action. Overtime, this loop creates habits of belief and behavior.
Learning loops start when you feel a need.
That happens at the base of the pyramid. You have experiences, and you pay attention to the things most likely to meet your needs. Those needs become beliefs through the process of exploring theories and making judgments. Then, as you act on those beliefs and experience the results, you interpret what happened as part of your learning process. Beliefs cause behavior.
We co-create shared worlds all the time. Your beliefs inform your actions, and your actions are interpreted by others, and those interpretations become the basis for their beliefs, which inform their actions.
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