Make Your Own Lane: Say, What You Mean

I can give a dozen examples outside business however since this blog is mainly for first time entrepreneurs or someone trying to establish an alternate career, I will stick to this for the time being.

Type A

“I wanted to work with you. I have a fantastic offer for you. It is a great opportunity for potential income. When can we discuss?”

How does this sound when this comes from someone with whom you lost touch for several years? Just when you are happy that they took the initiative to connect with you, the inside voice warns you of a hidden agenda.

So finally, when you discuss, you find the whole great opportunity just narrows down to one more PPL scope – pay per lead.

It helps to allow the one who is in the receiver’s end to conclude if at all, this is a great opportunity or if they are even remotely interested in your offer.

Will this experience lead you to doubt people's intentions or be skeptical in future? Ideally, it should not. Because what you should make of this experience is this - Move on.

Trigger curiosity.

Trigger hope.

But before all that,

Trigger trust

Trigger abundance mindset

Trigger generosity

Be direct - It helps clear the cloud and start with fresh thoughts – Transparent and clean. It builds trust and reliability.

Manipulative strategies, duplicity, deceitfulness in speech or conduct, speaking and thinking differently, double - dealing can be spot miles away.

Type B

“I cannot afford you at the moment, as I am bootstrapping, so can we work on a revenue sharing model for every lead you generate or nurture to a successful deal?”

Who would you personally prefer to work with, if at all you want to – Type A or Type B?

Just look at the irony of the whole thing, the one who needs assistance is the one who talks about offer. Such round about talk is a thing of the past. Any one with some acquaintance about natural laws and spiritual awareness knows, how easy it is to be direct, imperfect, vulnerable and yet have things your way.

Another thing that brings concern is when someone wants to do something for free – Why on earth, you wonder and even begin to worry, what obligation is this leading to?

Be Direct

“Hey, if I promote your services in my social media channels, will you pass on the leads relevant to what I do as a return favor?”

I love it. How simple and easy is that?

I hate free soaps anyways. I, for one, always think, there must be something wrong with its expiry.

Image Credit: Canva Design

The god of all business strategies is being human and adhering to natural laws.

Do no let past interactions and experiences cloud your judgment. 

Based on the BECKON Framework, we evaluate the background of each individual / freelancer/ first time entrepreneur/ BECKON Aspirant keen to be BECKON Coaches for an effective learning road map.

Here are three quick give-aways to recognize duplicity traits

A)  The language is always the same – Discussing problems and people

B) Observe the questions they ask - That is almost always doubting your integrity - An excellent reflection of what is going on in their mind

C) I, Me, Myself first - Self obsessed.

In my next blog, I will address "Give, before you seek - traits of abundance mindset 

Here are a few enlightening words from Brene Brown - The research-storyteller to awaken your spiritual intelligence

Empathy is the skill or ability to tap into our own experiences in order to connect with an experience someone is relating to us.

Compassion is the willingness to be open to this process

Concluding thoughts.

When you actually meet people in personal and professional life with such traits, even if you choose not to do business transactions, use both of these - Empathy and compassion. 

It is mostly how they are conditioned that govern their belief system and thinking patterns. With empathy and compassion, they will soon learn to say, what they truly mean to create a win win environment, for both parties involved.

Write to advocating.outcomes@gmail.com for pitch scripts

How Are You Branding Yourself Today?

How many of you receive mails from job consultants seeking these inputs?

• Your current Salary
• Expected Salary
• Joining Period if selected
• Have you applied before directly or through any consultant?
• Are you a permanent employee?
• Are you open to relocate?
• What is your current location?
• How many years do you have in

1. Leadership Role
2. Team Management
3. Project Management
4. Stakeholders Management
5. Client relationship Management

And the laundry list can be longer. There was time I used to think, these questions in my inbox reflect interest in my profile for an opening, possibly. Now I just delete such mails whispering to myself – What audacity! What a pathetic way to build database? How immature!

• It is perfectly okay that you do not have time to read my online profile
• It is not okay that you demand sensitive information, just like that.
• How can one trust your credibility to fill positions, if you lack basic ability to draft a decent introductory mail?

Content impacts your branding

Image Credit: Shutterstock

CEO,  Ventures

Over a year back, when a young job consultant spoke at a stretch and ended saying “Since you are not associated full time with any corporate now, I suggest you take this opportunity for whatever you are getting” I smiled and said politely “I will keep that in mind”. What I wanted (trade time, skills, both or neither) was not her scope to know, what she wanted was all that mattered.

• When you treat profiles like products to push and fill roles, you most often forget the resource here has a mind of their own.
• Your choice of words and under researched ways speaks volumes about your desperateness to meet targets than do justice to employers and aspirants.

Communication impacts your branding

There are a few people I know who are running their own firms for almost five years and yet their social/ professional profiles highlight their former roles with big corporate names.

• Which entity do you think needs to be branded now – the firm you worked for a decade or the firm you created and associated with now?
• How do you want people to remember you – for what you did in the capacity of former president or for the service you provide now and what you represent today?

Company impacts your branding

The young consultant and many others like her are yet to know large corporation is good platform to test and develop skills for a few years. The Future of Work is to trade your niche skills to multiple buyers across geography from the comfort of your home, without trading your time. Are you branding yourself today to suit/ meet that future?

To know more about Future of Work, click here

Based on BECKON Framework, the evaluation and learning road map are first to support your outcomes (income stream) and then assist you to transfer that to others, if you want to scale and build an enterprise or brand as an independent BECKON coach

Part 3: For Leaders, Communication Is Not Just Communication

The credibility you have built as a leader goes a long way in supporting your communication agenda. A prolonged silence could be taken just as seriously as a simple instruction or a long lecture.

Conflict: Ask yourself if questions from audience or key members confuse and baffle you? How you conduct yourself when you are caught off guard by a question or when you are not prepared with a ready response actually gives insight of your overall personality and nature. Whether the occasion is one to one or one to few or addressing a large group, leaders ideally ought to use every opportunity to communicate with greater goals in mind than to defend personal ego or individual interests. When the intention is beyond safe guarding petty ego or personal agenda, the communication is not just exchange of ideas but also transfer of conviction.

Choice of Words/ methods/ Pace: What went well when you were a college graduate cannot probably suit things now. A joke that appeals to a young crowd might not necessarily create the same ripple with business unit heads. Even with best of intentions, your communication as a leader can be a disaster if you do not work on your language and study your audience. If you are being fed or self-taught reflects in what words you use, methods you adopt and pace you maintain during the communication. If you are fed by external source regarding what to talk, you are likely to fumble; the presentation method will make it evident if communication is knowledge based or situational dressing up. Most pseudo intellectuals and self proclaimed leaders miserably fail in this arena.

Content: You do not necessarily have to create material as the research part is often done by support functions. In a presentation with over – say twenty slides including audio, video, reports and reviews; you can remember the storyboard and the sequence if you were involved in its creation. It always helps a great deal if you create material instead of just checking and approving slides done by others. Share you pointers as the listeners not only get a glimpse of your strategic thinking and competitive intelligence, you speak with more conviction as the ideas are original, yours and you know exactly what you are talking.


In a few months I can come up with another ten C’s however that is not the whole point. The takeaway here is, each of these factors is internal – cannot be changed externally. “You” are the reason and “You” again are the solution.

For leaders, communication is definitely not just communication – it is the overall executive presence. Assess yourself by answering the BECKON Qualifying Questionnaire. You can command attention and carry yourself well when you leaders consider communication as a powerful tool to sharpen your image and impact business

Part 2: For Leaders, Communication Is Not Just Communication

In my last post, I pointed if you have language concern - that is a major hindrance not just for leaders but anyone. The remedial measures are not just a quick action plan on lessons and practice but a pretty lengthy learning process. If there is anything that requires more time than language learning, it is building competence internally and dealing with chronic issues. The simpler aspects that seem apparent – stage fright, memory lapse etc. are just derivatives of the underlying chronic concerns.

Confidence: A senior HR professional I know, whose last role was that of Vice President tells me training large teams is not really her forte. She is good with presentations to Management Team or clients. There are many leaders who use defense mechanism not to try something new, as they fear they might not be quite as good like they usually are in their primary roles or deliverables. In a few years from now, as a board member in some company or a CEO in a startup, would it be better to falter in a town hall rather than seize opportunities now and improve? Build confidence now by using available scope to speak in large forums - including training. To begin with, shift focus from “You” to “Them” and take genuine interest in your audience and watch your confidence grow.

Connect: On that note, “Interest in your audience” I want to re iterate, you can never relate, connect or influence your audience or create an impact on their thought process, if you do not know them. I have seen leaders who almost always get into lecture mode the minute they see an audience. They set expectations at the outset that they want all kind of questions – intelligent or silly and hope for a session that is interactive. However, they are so pre occupied talking that there is no room for participation. Communication is two ways and if you were unable to connect, it is as good as not having communicated at all. Structure your content and communication style to suit your intention to connect first. As leaders, this responsibility is huge.

Conviction: I regard the recent Nescafe advertisement more than just an advertisement. Nothing can keep you down or stop you if your conviction is intact. Not everyone has the gift of speaking, and seriously, that is not required either to articulate or communicate effectively. It is your conviction that matters more than a physical handicap. What possibly could be pointed as ineffective communication are those without conviction. Can’t you spot a leader miles away and catch the difference when he mentions future business growth from a slide or from a deeper belief system?

Next in the series on Communication for Leaders: Conflict, Content and Competition

Part 1: For Leaders, Communication Is Not Just Communication

You have been with the organization for over a decade. Your growth in the firm has been phenomenal. Your success quotient with people, process and project is way above average. Your potential and performance even got you to the advisory board. As a senior leader, you are the Go-To person for anything pertaining to your domain and strategic moves. Your work inspires many and yet, in spite of all your achievements you have never been invited to be a key speaker in seminars, leadership trainings or address large audience in Town halls. Did you ever wonder why?

As you grow up in the corporate ladder, did you ever realize that you had to work on your communication style, body language, regardless of whether your audience remained same or has changed? What you speak reflects how you think and your thinking has definitely changed over the years. How you say determine what impact you are likely to create. Positive impact is the desired outcome and if there is even the slightest of chance to damage that leadership image or impact on audience, why should you be invited to address an audience in large forums?

Here is a quick checklist of C’s for you to run through so that you can identify what is stopping you from getting those opportunities to speak in important platforms. You may work on remedies accordingly. (A list of remedies will be published soon)

Command on language: Is it your heavy accent? Do you fall short of right words due to limited vocabulary? Would you be more comfortable talking in your own mother tongue? Is it really about language in the first place? Do you abhor the spontaneity required in speaking and you think you are better off writing your thoughts? Fight this war out first before you do anything else to improve communication, as if it is language concerns, you have a huge task in hand. We all know fluency in language cannot be acquired overnight.

Crowd Conscious: Though you are well prepared for the speech, well rehearsed with multiple dry runs for the presentation, the sight of an enthusiastic crowd diffuses your spirit for the fear of letting them down or not living up to their expectations. Does the sight of a dais actually bring butterflies to your stomach? Who should we treat here then? Not the butterflies for sure. You are human and so are they. Get the intentions right – your key messages will not just penetrate the crowd but their minds too.

Circle of Influence: You have always been a great presenter. You address queries from the team effectively. Your storyboards are very well accepted, however you have a comfort zone with specific team members, clients, and small group of stakeholders. You sail through because you are able to influence them, get their buy in, relate to them. You believe, you might not be able to have similar control with a bunch of strangers or larger group.

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Next in the series is on developing Competence